Hilda Stob Prose
1974
1. OF BEING AWAKENED EVERY WORKING DAY JUST AFTER 5AM BY THE CAR WHOSE HORN IS INSISTENTLY BLOWING, TELLING SOMEONE IN OUR BLOCK THAT HE IS THERE TO PICK THEM UP FOR WORK.
INDUSTRIOUS PEOPLE – YES
CAR-POOL – YES
WONDERFUL!
2. OF BEING KEPT IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION BY PICKING UP BOTTLES AND CANS AND PAPER EVERY MORNING FROM YOUR FRONT YARD.
3. OF HAVING CARS PARK IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE LATE AT NIGHT WITH THE RADIO TURNED UP HIGH AND THE HAPPY PEOPLE INSIDE THE CAR SINGING LOUDLY TO THE JIVE TUNE.
4. OF BEING SUDDENLY AWARE OF A BIG DOG BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK AS YOU PULL A FEW WEEDS IN YOUR YARD. GERMAN SHEPHERD, OR GREAT DANE, OR SPRINGIER SPANIEL OR POODLE OR HOUND OR COLLIE? YOU NAME IT WE HAD IT.
5. OF HAVING TO CLEAN YOUR YARD WITH A SHOVEL BEFORE YOU CAN LET YOUR GRAND-CHILDREN PLAY IN THE YARD.
6. OF TRYING TO KEEP YOUR PICKET FENCE ALONG THE ALLEY – WHOLE.
7. OF NOT BECOMING TOO UPSET WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR BACK DOOR SOME MORNING AND FIND A DOG HAS PULLED OVER YOUR GARBAGE CAN DURING THE NIGHT AND SPREAD THE CONTENTS AROUND.
8. OF COMING HOME SOME EVENING AND FINDING THAT SOME STRAY SHOTS FROM A B-B GUN HAVE BROKEN YOUR LIVING ROOM WINDOW.
9. OF FINDING WHEN YOU ARE TURNING THE SPOT LIGHT ON TO LIGHT YOUR GARAGE, THAT SOMEONE HAS TAKEN THE BULB.
10.OF SITTING ON YOUR PORCH OF A SUMMER EVENING AND FINDING THAT YOU CAN’T HEAR A PERSON TALK THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE OF ALL THE RADIO’S TURNED ON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
11.OF HAVING TO DO WITHOUT A DAILY NEWSPAPER BECAUSE NO ONE IS WILLING TO DELIVER IN YOUR AREA.
12.OF HAVING YOUR GUESTS BE AWAKENED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BY THE YELLING GOING ON NEXT DOOR.
13.OF HAVING YOUR WATER TURNED OFF BECAUSE YOUR NEIGHBOR HASN’T PAID HIS WATER BILL.
14.OF HAVING YOUR BUSHES BROKEN AND TRAMPLED BECAUSE THE BOYS ARE HAVING SUCH FUN SEEING IF THEY CAN JUMP OVER THEM.
15.OF HAVING YOUR DRIVEWAY BLOCKED BY A PARKED CAR, WHEN YOU ARE HURRYING TO GO TO WORK.
FUN – FUN – FUN. NEVER A DULL DAY.
